Everything  you've done in life has brought you here. What you do with it is up to you. Welcome to my world. 

 

		ARCHIVE: 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006     - What new so far in 2003?                       Happy Holidays-   12/17/03 Want to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season!!!! This will probably be the last entry until 2004. Going to take some much deserved time off from the world!!!! Laughing in the face of everything I once believed. If you haven't received your Xmas card from me this year chances are your no longer in my book. By popular demand, Rattlin Bones will be re-released in first part of 2004. You'll be able to purchase the cd here on this site. The Klingon buffer would be the best approach. Finding pieces of my past in scattered photographs. I used to think, Maybe if I had more balance in my life I would be happier at my  job. But as time went on, no matter what I did to provide balance, I was still unhappy with the work situation. After time I realized it wasn't my work but my personal life that was making me suffer. Believe me, you did me a big favor. A big favor. Most people know of the 80/20 principle. Find a role in you. Bling Bling .          Gentle Place Within-   11/14/03 Ask Miss Manners. Maybe you despise your job enough that you pay no attention to anything other than getting through a full day. Because I am not an attorney, I am unable to provide you with legal advice. If you are in doubt about whether or not you have a preexisting relationship and informed consent, what do you do?         Crisis of Confidence-   11/13/03 Nothing to lose, ending up gaining the world. Tomorrow answers all open questions Been a long time since I've felt this content Bring out Venus Not so much whether you win or lose but the thrill Reputation intact         Sarcastic-   11/11/03 I'd give the world but expect the same in return Can fix things when they're broken and break them so I can fix them. Make me laugh. Make me think. Make me try new things Thoughts which smile Not a tale by the Brothers Grimm It not just about you. Pencil in a date.        NIT-   11/4/03 The less you spend the more you enjoy The challenge is to make the most of newly loosened budgets Sit-ups and crunches can strengthen your abs, but they can't get rid of fat. Perfect mix of flirtatiousness, sarcasm, and innuendo. When in Portland check out the Le Bistro Montage restaurant Irony of the situation.        New Understandings-   11/3/03 Hope everyone had a safe Halloween and had as much fun as I did Number of breakthroughs for a number of different reasons. There appears to be a tremendous roadblock in the way.  Apparently  someone doesn't want me to continue down this path, because they are scared that I'm are going to discover a whole new passion in life that they don't necessarily agree with. Subconscious need for security is likely to be great energy-sapping, venomous emotions Not every girl is going to be then one Your wrong if you need to be right A grudge is angry that wont quit Sleep well Stay well Let it out then let it go. Retrain your heart. Profit and loss statement Close the door.     Libation or two-   10/21/03 Make it strong for I don't want to think Write it down      Belief to Believe-   10/17/03 What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around. Anyone remember the 40-hour work week? All said and done I love my job and don't mind putting the hours in, but I'm concerned about those who feel they need to put the hours in just to ensure they keep their job... Maybe next year Cubs. You've still got a job, right? Your energy might be better expended in doing that job well, so your employer can continue to compete, and so you can continue to pay taxes that may eventually provide support services to ... you. NAFTA has been a disaster for the working people of the USA. How ironic that it was implemented on a Democrat's watch. Painting the world with a broad brush is never a good idea Too easy a target. But I didn't paint the bull's-eye The forgotten race. There is something inherently wrong with the way you think, or that you don't think at all. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for you. But guess what? I found out. Bitch. You work for me? Isn't that a grand twist of Fate! There are more layoffs during the last four months of the year than any other time of the year. Makes you a little nervous as September rolls around... or not? Guess what area gets cut back first? That's right--non revenue producing departments. From corporate IT to Starbucks server is quite a "vertical change." The only real job security I have was when I became my own boss. See one of my favorite movies, "Things Change", one of Don Ameche's last films, maybe his best It's almost been a year since I've moved back to the west coast and has been the best decision I've ever made. I been blessed with all the good things that has happen this past year. Granted it wasn't without hours and hours of hard work and the belief to believe and more importantly surrounding myself with people that believe in me. Most of us have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making them feel like crap.  Constant nagging fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Finding another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin Your fear of Being alone. Look at the big Picture...       Zero-   10/15/03 If you are not part of the solution, you are not dissolved in the solvent Interestingly, we started to lose this war only after the embedded reporters pulled out. Back when we got the news directly from Iraq, there was victory and optimism. Now that the news is filtered through the main stream media here in America, all we hear is death and destruction and quagmire GO Cubs! The world is full of folk who are so parochial and trivial minded that they just can't see that it's possible for some folk to exponentially advance themselves in a few days when they have taken a life time of being led by the nose. Intelligence,  sophistication and right attitude will always fly over the heads of the good 'ole' boys who stupidly take their own case for a generality.       Anopheles -  9/15/03 Some people are desperate souls with black hearts Burn one for me Quite a day Deleted my 103rd e-mail having to do with free Viagra today. Usually, Sundays are spent sleeping off Saturday night or lounging around watching the Seahawks. Which is a good thing -- you never know what can happen when you leave the house. Unleashed in the great outdoors, hundreds of  things to smell and  chew on and thousands of other things to "mark." I really think I'm more spiritual than religious Bocce  -- a game, I'm told, played by well-to-do Italians back in the old country consists of nine balls (one racquetball sized "pallino" and eight rather heavy softball sized balls), the object of the game is a little like shuffleboard, a little like horseshoes, and a little like bowling. Don't even ask what I think... Most of us will never scale Mount Hood, Oregon's highest peak at 11,235 feet. But by hiking the short trail from Timberline Lodge to Silcox Hut, it's possible to get close enough to almost imagine we could.       Propitiate Me -  9/4/03 Prefer a vacation where you unzip a tent flap to reveal a glorious sunrise rather than waking to a stuffy hotel room. Destroying culture constitutes a conflict on interest when you're meant to be representing the guardians of human knowledge. Weekend on the mind Burning Man 2003 | Black Rock City, Nevada Genetic algorithm output that's "human-competitive," that is, as good as something a person might produce...Kind of makes you wonder Eh? Result is publishable in its own right as a new scientific result independent of the fact that the result was mechanically created. SMASH-Mouth      Puyallup Fair -  9/3/03 Rumors. It was security compromised, It can lead to a virus transfer. Microsoft was invaded by aliens. Anyway, who cares? Take a deep breath, center yourself and become one with the universe I really need to catch up on some sleep for sleep deprivation is cumulative and I have a busy week ahead. My Zen like Sanctuary One night in a motel in Dallas      Bumbershoot 2003 -  8/29/03 Wow summers just about over. What a rides its been. Lo-ser-ology: "lü-z&r-l&-je" Short 34 year old, Fat, Glasses, Hair Club for Men Candidate, Food in the Goatee, Sport Card Trading, Convention Going, Mid West Fool. Have a great weekend everyone!      Luxury of Knowing -  8/25/03 Realists know This past weekend I ended up at Lollapalooza one day and the Vancouver Jazz and Wine Fest the next. Two different events. Two different crowds. Had a blast at both. Alcohol is just fermented sugar, and that means empty calories that are easily converted into triglycerides and stored as fat. Can't remember the last time I had a drink. I'm not drinking cause I'm a alcoholic or anything but just want to clear my body of all distractions/impurities. I'll be writing more about this later. Remember that you'll only lose your gut if you combine a healthy and low-fat diet with a first-rate full body workout program Mr. Gin and Tonic Discipline, Discipline and more Discipline All the tips in the world aren't worth a thing if you don't show any discipline. Sounds like an input only system created by someone with little technical skill and too much time on their hands. Beyond evident. Who really cares what you think? Ever thought your the one with the  "issues"? Go ahead and keep adding up all the penalty points No Vegas bookmaker would give you a snowball's chance in Hell I don't know about you, but I'm still getting about 100 SoBig.F messages per day As the summer winds down.... What's your modus operandi? My scars represent my journey thru life. Misinterpret my behavior through ways that applied to your past Subtle signals, masters of subtlety, response and subsequent. There is something about a girl that wears Levi 501's that I find sexy...       Vehemently Deny -  8/19/03 WeB + Log = WeBLog - We = BLog Removing the middle man A might fine piece of summer intern engineering You can't fool me. That was done by primates. In that situation there's no need pass a token. May you be soon be able to say the same. Sorry to hear about the fire at your parents house. I'm sure no amount of insurance can pay for the memories lost and of course the Nova. Hope nobody was hurt. Other constants don't work like this          Ex - 8/15/03 Asphyxiate on words I cannot say A cornerstone of a sustainable society. Don't start throwing a party.... Legitimate reluctance The purpose of the occasional white lie Sorry your Dads working at KFC...He shouldn't be working so hard at his age... I cannot leave here, I cannot stay. One must care for and look out for ones neighbors, make healthy lifestyle choices and work together to solve their own problems. A commitment to these actions will result in greater citizen control over the direction and destiny of each community. Point Nowhere There are no flowers, no, not this time. What radio station do I find myself listening to while I'm online? Well lets see, http://www.knac.com, When I listen to Knac it takes me back to when I first moved to Califorinia in 1987 with one goal in mind. Todays it 2003 and I have a new goal to obtain. See you in the winners circle. Okay time to take the dog for his run        Exuberant ways - 8/14/03 Take advantage go ahead. Anyway, I've accomplished all my goals set out for this year and currently creating some new ones. I've been really blessed or fortunate this year in all aspects of my life. Who says hard work doesn't pay? Actually had an intelligent conversation with another for once Networking, a important part of furthering Forgive little idiosyncrasies Slightly ahead of schedule, but still eagerly anticipated Have I mentioned my publishing deal? Done a lot of camping and no mosquito bites so far this year. Preferring to choose my own hours and being my own boss rather than to answer to the voice of authority I realized last week while in Hawaii that        V@#$^%@$@$# - 8/11/03 I me my mine. You selfless bitch Let me land the plane for you Translate what you say Gang Starr>>Ex Girl to the Next Girl Are you jellin? I'm jellin like a fellon. Let's cut the crap and see this Metrosexual fad for what it really is; guys acting gay to get chicks. Syndication and Branding     Vincouver - 8/4/03 I like to surround myself with solid, dependable people. People that know how to keep their word. There is a kick ass station called KUFO in Portland. Reminds me of KNAC when I first moved down to LA. Check it out if your in the area. Of course due to Infinity Broadcasting policy on online streaming you can't listen via the web. Learning Tai Chi to become one with myself Let's hope it is for all the right reasons The aesthetics of ones surroundings I for one don't let other people's anxiety cause me to rush into anything that I'm not ready for. Unexpected contingencies Initiate my dreams      123 - 7/30/03 They say life not worth recording is life not worth living. Facilitate free and open communication within. Seems like an exhausting task This concept, the euphoria is dying. It needs to be fed with musical and technological creativity, and that's not happening. Bad habits brought into a relationship with  full knowledge are ones to keep. Anything acquired AFTER being together is fair game. Goals, Communications, Friends, Money, In-Laws & Family, Religion, Sex and Kids taking some time to study the blueprints before implication Discretionary cash and your cloud of surrealism is covering up the reality Maybe it's a good time for you to listen and receive input, as opposed to delivering output.       Girl on Top - 7/28/03  You know when you go camping and wake up in the morning to the sounds of the birds chirping, aroma of the fresh air, a clear blue sky how relaxing that is. Well that's how I wake up everyday, feels like every day's a vacation... Here's a thought for you....... This situation...   Traded in my Dockers for Levi 501's straight legs (Not the relaxed fit that Fat Fucks wear)        When In Cancun - 7/24/03 Three days into it I can truly say I feel relaxed. Amazing. It's been too many years since I took a vacation. In fact I don't think I've ever taken one. I was always worried that I couldn't relax laying on the beach for I would feel guilty for not working or striving towards a goal. Boy was I ever wrong. Academic part of life Compromising in order to make it seem like everything was working So you received some unsettling news but wait and see what the universe has in store for you. Maybe you yourself will have a change of heart. Ever been trapped in a situation in which you sense that you are being coerced or manipulated into feeling a certain way? Caught up in someone else's drama? It is imperative  Express yourself freely without feeling like you have to act a particular way Feeling particularly connected Maintain individuality | Appreciate differences At times quiet, observant yet outgoing My Heart to Yours Guitarist Magazine Interview with Jerry Cantrell talking about one of our first bands together. Every 80's hairband, Glam bands, 90's bands, thrash band.. New bands you name it. This is a very cool site, so cool I even did a interview with it webmaster extraordinaire Jill. Check it out, musicmayhem.com. And she likes soup also. Reunion       She Said Yes - 7/23/03 Timberline Lodge This is only my  web site and not a documentary on my life. Consider this. Don't ask me when I will update or what's going on if I'm silent for weeks - I'm living life without you knowing This is just a web site and accounts for under 1% of my life. How often this site is updated depends on how much work I have going on, If I feel I have some thing of benefit to say, If I'm traveling or bored or even if I care. Last-minute foray I think the reason why we sleep is that it gives us the opportunity to start over Drop your  inextricably linked preconceptions. Open to everything & attached to nothing It through another's eyes that we see our own possibilities but it's only through our own that we can realize them. Avoid all thoughts that weaken I never had an allowance Feel the peace that truly defines success       Ocean View - 7/17/03 Not rocket science Philosophic Reflections Heh- took my dog to the ocean yesterday. Boy did he love the water, but sure was  surprised once he got a mouthful. Thoughts about Thoughts The only plausible explanation.... Moment of epiphany Dream involving a friend I'd never want to have sex with. Hunting for Bambi In ways she's a lot like me      Revamp - 7/16/03 List of real good reasons Listening and understanding The Love your heart needs Nothing I can do about it now This is a day to follow your dreams Midway through your stay Facilitate the integration You forgot your control freak costume      The Gift - 7/14/03 So you want to be a vegetarian too? You ever wonder what ever happen to <fill in 80's & 90's bands name here>Thanks for the link Jill.      The Truth Is - 7/8/03 Happy endings aren’t for cowards. I’ve been alive for how many years, and I’ve just figured that one out. Always prepared for the unhappy ending, which in the past had made me less willing to work toward a happy one. Unfaithful to the idea of a well-adjusted future. Imagine settling for a life you can have because you don’t have the courage to go after the life you want. Every day the opportunity exists That’s what people do—they move into their new life and disassemble the old life in some ungrateful way and leave it out by the curb. Like it never served any purpose at all. Like self-preservation is some frivolous little thing. A few memorable ones for your perusal. Mental masturbation Involved in a fascinating conversation regarding truth Act of journalism or one of literary writing? World of complex inter-relationships that  comprehend at a pre-conscious level Live in a world of metaphors On the surface have no apparent connection Can we ever "know "  from their online presence? No matter how literal one is in their writing is, you can't. No more than you can get to know, say Steven King, from only reading his novels. You can make suppositions but that's all they will ever be. No matter how much of myself I decide to put in here you will still not know the real me. Problem of perception. Truth is a matter of perception. What really matters is can I get you to see it the way I see it regardless of whether you agree with that perception or not. That is the question        Cold Water Tail- 7/7/03 The truth is there for you, for us, for the world, it is the universe, the universe is our mind and our mind is the universe....every thought we have and hold is sent into the universe and ultimately (sooner or later) becomes truth, the indigo children will save the world and we are going back to Eden and the telepathy is increasing. Once we can read each others minds all the lies will be gone, only truth and light and justice will exist. I really want to get to know myself better before I get to know anyone else.. "Cold water tail," "limber tail syndrome," "broken tail," "dead tail," "broken wag" are all euphemisms for a relatively common occurrence in sporting dogs something that my dog experienced this weekend So this politically correct American walks into a bar..      Ask me if I care- 7/3/03 Never thought owning a boat was so much work but very rewarding. Nothing like cruising up the river and camping where ever you want. The freedom away from the crowd to run around naked. Owning a jeep makes driving around without a damned thing to do FUN. Pretty girl with a knife Pieces of my Past Group Sex Star- Seats going fast Didn't think I would know that was you? I have approximately 997 songs that are *almost* finished. As you cared? You don't care about what people think unless it's about you. How selfless is that? Sorry, Friends only Thought you were the chosen one, the one who was supposed to fly Ease your  boredom and angst by indulging in mine Tired of listening to the same music every day during work but now it's even worse because my batteries are dead. We could make beautiful porn together... Stuck inside your Mask "Life is short" (you only get one). Stop all your incessant whining. Maybe the "Corporation" isn't so advanced after all We could've been together, I've could have been good for you. I'm a little worried, for  I know it all too well. Anyway I've got your number Important to you? Bet you wish you would have stayed May you move out of your mom's house by the time you're 35 I can understand the way you feel because I feel it to Plain disgusted in retrospect I haven't had a cigarette in almost two years but have a weird dream about them last night. A kiss goodbye and a long cigarette..... Actually been having a lot of vivid dreams lately... I could careless, but your boyfriend might get pissed. Have a great weekend and hope no one loses a finger.       Stepford Wives - 6/25/03 Waterfront Blues Festival Everyone looking at a guy with a wife who makes more money, going, 'He's the chick." "Embedded biology" of romantic fantasies has not changed: "Men want a babe and don't care about her earning power. Women want a rugged poet or musician with a private jet." In retrospect Moved previous years to their perspective pages. In other words I've created the archive pages and the links you see above now work. Look for new photos and site design coming soon. A perfectly reasonable and articulate metaphor under the circumstances. The expression argument contains the string you want to search within. The find argument is the substring you want to eliminate, substituting the string specified as the replace argument in its place. Hurting myself today, to see if I still feel. "One shot" theory Intelligently scrutinized thrown to the wolves with enthusiasm Clarify the denunciation       Blissful - 6/23/03 Pleasures and responsibilities of a partnership. What a difference you have made in my life. Information confidential Perhaps you will      So Low - 6/18/03 She wanted to Dance. Accurate report of a inaccurate rumor Just think what one can accomplish if he/she has balls Dislocating the ability I surf without images. Red versus Blue More to me than you. Graduated with degree As Richard Nixon said, "History belongs to those who write it"  That one sentence has a lot of meaning to me.  I find myself making the most out of the day as if it's my last.  I don't want to ever wonder, what if???........... WHOOP DE DO when I heard your news Is it fair to judge people or talent or ideas in mathematical terms? Illusion and deception is the life your living to others. Felt the hand on the shoulder Completely unrestrained by any shackles. Things change, so have I..... So will this site.      One World - 6/11/03 I bought a Jeep so that I could get it dirty, not to sing "koom bay a" with the rest of the yuppies who own them at the company picnic. I believe in a zone of privacy Be careful what you take. If you want a reaction, you're sure to get one but not from me. Before a door that's finally ready to open. Rewards of taking care of ones self are abundantly clear Persistence is admirable, but stubbornness indicates a closed mind. Ride it out with aplomb        Mi amor - 4/22/03 Far from being made of gold. Second Day of the fast is going well. Woke up in the middle of the night a few times in a pool of sweat (My body detoxifying, maybe?  But from what?). Chugged quite a bit of apple juice and carrot juice and water today. No caffeine.  Nothing with pulp. Straight juice. No real hungry pains to report. TBC Time was all that you really needed Adjusted well. Less things change the more they seem the same. Lead a heart to love but can't make it fall. Things I love about my jeep (My Jeep is named after my last girlfriend friend  who, just like my sport, was beautiful to look at, fun to be with, and very expensive to maintain). 1) If you leave the lights on or the key in the ignition your reminded (ding ding ding) when the door opens to properly follow exiting procedure. 2)CD Stereo/sound bar that kicks ass. 3)Great for camping/hard to reach scenic destinations 4)Automatic/Cruise control 5) 6 Cylinder 4 Liter    6)Looks cool, top on or off. A convertible in the summer and 4-wheel drive in the winter 7)Chicks dig it. 8)Dual air bags, power steering, side boards, wiper delay Things I hate about my jeep. 1) Absolutely Nothing. Jeepjamboreeusa.com I never called and checked your story Replaced your memory with another. Your not the only one who feels like this. Sometimes this world can't leave enough well enough alone.      Happy Easter (Belated)- 4/21/03  I am writing this as I eat a bowl of Trader Joes Raison Clusters, and once finished, not another morsel of food shall pass my lips until this time next week. Earlier, my plan of fasting was to start at 6am this morning but that plan has been abandoned in flavor of fasting from whenever I finish this bowl. A quick word on my self imposed ‘rules’ for my second fast, before I explain it’s meaning. Some people who have done sponsored ‘famines’  have said that boiled sweets are allowed, as are drinks. I maintain they aren’t. I shall be fasting the same way I understand Ghandi did. Nothing but water. Well maybe some juice, heh, make that a LOT of Juice. Why am I fasting? Well, essentially, its cleansing my body of mistreatment. In the course of writing this, I’ve finished my bowl of cereal, and now realize  that I can’t actually finish them.  So my fast begins now. Well, NOW, actually, as after writing that sentence, I notice I have some Fig Newton's left in the package.... Anyway. I shall be posting more updates throughout the week       Poignancy. - 4/10/03 Does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul? You assume the right of anticipating what may happen. Don't. Starting another week long fast this coming Sunday. Figure I'll clean out the old remnents of the past out of my system. Been 17 months since I had my last drag of a cigerette but once in a while I can still taste it when I breath. These anti war protests really bug me. I think their timing is all wrong and burning our flag? Destroying what it stands for- freedom. Support our troops. Maybe being the son on a Vietnam vet has something to do with it . Goals this year- Buy a boat, plasma tv, more land. Get another Dog. Eat, Sleep & Jeep      Persisent, Yes. - 3/18/03 Mundane, routine, unrewarding tasks and postponing the non-essential ones       Communal bong - 3/11/03 Welcome change Lighten up and see how much of the world shines with you. Now is that really the best you can do? I brake for most animals Signs of a cheating partner with someone online: sudden changes in behavior, more concern with appearance (new clothes, new haircut, working out, dieting), new interests (movies, books, politics) more or less interest in sex, unavailability (can't be reached for hours at a time), sneaky behavior (hangs up the phone or shuts down the computer the minute you walk in the room, Checks email frequently), Doesn't want to seek counseling  etc. A bad mistake is a thousand times more devastating than the loss of a few months. The girl with no top, more fun than the man with no name. Obsessive in the right direction is called CEO, but in the wrong direction is often discounted... My alarm hasn't gone off for the last three days Havent a chance to use this information in a practical setting     Much to Early - 3/10/03 Life is never going to be perfect, and waiting for it to become so is pointless. On the Italian naming traditions - the FIRST male child would be named after the father's father (not the mother's father), and the first female child named after the father's mother - then the SECOND male and second female children would be named after the mother's parents. They were pretty strict about this. Was it difficult? Beyond belief. I appreciate all the experiences that I have had that brought me here Stop playing the victim When I look back, why should I be surprised? The story continues       Heart of the Matter- 3/8/03 When home wasn't home. Back from my monthly trip to Chicago. This time I actually didn't dread going. Heh but as luck would have it snowed and I found myself at the airport a lot longer that I would have liked. I did find some cool places to eat in the city. Funny how much one explores an city when they don't live there. I'm  not letting  that happen here.   We decided to wind up wherever we wound up. That place was the top of the Hancock Building on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. Wish fulfillment is a gift from the Stars As long as you think that, it'll be true for you. The signs are there, look. Self-respecting adults don't expect or accept rent money from anyone -- not family, friends or lovers. A loan in hard times is a different story. How much would one be willing to change? How much does one try to change another? Don't try to force your life, just let it happen. It's a lot more fun that way. Have I mentioned I love my jeep? Has The Fat Lady Sung Yet? Re-invest      Would you..?  - 2/26/03 Hiking Pics Some Pictures of our first hiking adventure in the NorthWest and of course it wouldn't be complete without the dog... Take a  vacation. The worst that can happen is that you'll have a crummy vacation, but the best case scenario might be something you would never guess. Why do you harbor such feelings?      Bars on her Heart  - 1/29/03 Life for work not the opposite? - just wondering... Empathy Island unto themselves Quietude is calming The je ne sais quoi has evaporated. Either she had changed remarkably for the worse or she was never the perfect person I had remembered. Taking myself out of the relationship to see clearly again.      Superbowl Aftermath  - 1/27/03 Chastise the finger-pointers Not much of an weekend. I work to much. Windows to the World Have a great day! (or should I say "I hope the remainder of the current  24-hour period is acceptable or better and that you suffer no misfortune in your work area or home base of operations.")       The Jeep wave  - 1/26/03 A few of you asked who was my pride and joy.  He's an English Black Lab named Dolby Here he is at 8 weeks Now I've only owned my jeep for a few months now but it's changed me. I swear my whole outlook on driving is different. Maybe more that that, my outlook on everything else. Since I've first gotten my license I have driven everything from a souped up 1970 Oldsmobile Cutlass with an 350, four barrel and headers  to a 4 cylinder manual Toyota pickup. I wish there were some way to really express how this jeep makes me feel. Just look at this picture! Can you see what I mean? Am I'm crazy??.......hmm, maybe.. The FUN is back! Used to be, I'd get up, start my vehicle put on my seat belt and drive it. (Yawn) Now I leap out of bed, run to the window, click the clicker to the garage, look out and smile. It's still right where I parked it! I jump in, start it, carefully warm it up, and then GO! Most times I arrive/leave by entry/exit points other than the driveway. My neighbors simply shake their head when they see me climbing the bank yet again. My 6 year- old niece refuse to ride with me anymore, since I drove her through the pond. Well, I wanted to wash the mud off of the tires... At night I rub her  fender and say, "goodnight jeep." (I've been thinking of the right name for her and don't want to name her prematurely. I'm strongly leaning toward Pricilla). Then I tap the fender so that the alarm will say, "Get away from the car, you are much too close." Reassured, I go to bed and dream of Jeeps. The PRIDE has returned! It has been years since I really wanted to wash a car, much less vacuum one. But now, I can't wait. I feel bad when a bug smashes itself on my windshield, but I suppose, if I were a bug, that would be an honorable way to go! (Last week I got an bulls eye in the window driving back from Seattle. Couldn't sleep that night knowing my baby was hurt. Thanks to modern laser technology and 40 bucks she's as good as new)  Anyway, I am now like one of these guys who has his little rag, and polishes the hood. Look at those round eyes, those curvy fenders...sigh! The MUD has returned! Even though I generally feel bad when I get my Jeep dirty, all that changes when I hit the trail. About then I remember that I can replace any part on this vehicle from around 72,000 places, and so I temporarily stop caring as much about the body and drive train. Have you ever climbed a logging road up the side of a mountain, with a 500 foot drop off on your left, and a three foot rain gully between your tires? Well, I just did it last Monday, and well.... Epilog... I probably paid too much for this Jeep, but in the long run I got just what I wanted. I am very happy with it. I'll most likely never buy another "regular" car again. The Jeep has me. (As long as Chrysler leaves the axles alone, and keeps independent suspension (IFS) off of my Jeep) I recommend that you start having fun again. Get YOUR Jeep! Why pay a car payment for merely a (blah) car, when the FUN, PRIDE, and MUD can be back in your life. And, like the Harley riders.... Jeep owners...Do the Wave!   Heh got my Namm passes yesterday. Something about wearing someone else's badge to get in bothers me. I'm promised the ones I get for this summer will arrive on time.      Almost there but not quite  - 1/24/03 It is unfair to change your rules depending on what you're wearing, who's calling or the kind of day you've had. Exploration makes more sense. Looking at things the way they are rather than the way I want them to be. I've been here before, and I should know. When looking to take my next step, I'm going to take a hint from the lessons I've learned in the past. I may not feel like turning back, but have to fix this scene in my mind before moving on. I'm hooked on watching 'The Shield' Memories can be valuable, if not priceless. Compliance, not submission. Is playing to win the same as playing for keeps? Be a lot more flattered if  she were someone else. Maybe you're hoping for a very different result. Love should be a mutual gift, not waiting in line at the exchange counter. Take a step back and reevaluate exactly what it is that you want. Having someone who wants, needs and loves you is the best thing one can imagine.      Keepsake  - 1/20/03 My Pride and Joy is an year old today.  When you research a dog you're going to buy, you MUST know every thing that can go wrong with that breed. Chocolate contains theobromine and caffeine, which are poisonous to dogs. Onions also can be toxic to dogs, causing anemia. US Dog Parks Oregon Humane Society      The Tree  - 1/19/03 Received an interesting email today.  I was right  all along. Hit the ski slopes this weekend.  Nothing like hot tubbing after a day on the mountain. Sooth worries, Allay fears       Happy New Year!  - 1/16/03 Nothing in the below should be construed to represent anything other than my own opinions and personal reality. Apologies for the lack on content therefore. Funny how when things are going my way, my lack of motivation  and drive and creative content to update my site wanes. I'm having an pretty good drive and it's amazing how life has changed for me. What an difference a year makes. I think I've found the person I used to be before the world changed me. Refreshing feeling. My apologies to friends lost over the years due to my darkness, agony and despair. It wasn't anything you did but what I did and what I became. How could I make anyone else happy if I wasn't happy with myself. If I could change things I would- but I can't. I mean this sincerely and you know who you are. I want to try an experiment.      What's New | Rantings |  Multimedia | Store | Contact | Home | Guestbook COPYRIGHT © 1 9 9 7 -  2 0 0 8  T H E C H A S G R O U P All Rights Reserved